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Hello, my friend.

My assumption is that you are here because you are a kind and empathetic soul who is sometimes treated poorly by others. I want you to know that you are not alone. Maybe these stories sound a little too familiar.

Sarah is a kindhearted wife and has been married to Mark for several years now. Mark often dismisses her opinions, belittles her achievements, and oftentimes displays controlling behavior. Despite feeling hurt and unappreciated in the relationship, Sarah finds herself tolerating mistreatment in an effort to maintain the appearance of a happy marriage.

Sarah fears confrontation. She worries that it might lead to conflict. Instead she sacrifices her own happiness for the short term peace of a seemingly harmonious home.

Emily is a dedicated friend who has been "besties" with Lisa since college, however, Lisa frequently makes passive aggressive and belittling remarks about Emily's choices and undermines her achievements. Lisa even occasionally manipulates her into doing things that she's really not comfortable doing.

Despite feeling a growing sense of resentment in this relationship, Emily hesitates to address the issue directly. She worries that standing up for herself might jeopardize the relationship. Instead she chooses to tolerate the mistreatment in order to maintain the illusion of a harmonious relationship.

Maria is a loving daughter who has always tried to please her demanding mother, Linda. Linda oftentimes criticizes Maria's life choices and undermines her parenting decisions. She imposes her opinions on every aspect of Maria's life.

Despite feeling really hurt and frustrated by her mother, Maria tolerates this mistreatment in an effort to maintain family harmony. She fears the backlash and the guilt that might come from actually standing up for herself. Instead, she chooses to endure mistreatment for the sake of avoiding conflict in the family.

In each of these situations, these women decided to tolerate mistreatment to "keep the peace." But whose peace were they keeping?

These women were experiencing a war within themselves as well as anger and resentment towards the very people they were trying to love.

This week on my podcast I'm sharing two tips to help you to better navigate mistreatment to create something more supportive for you.

First, practice speaking your truth. This may sound simple, but for many experiencing mistreatment, expressing truth through sharing experience, wants, and desires is the furthest thing from their mind.

Simple comments like:

"I don't like being talked to in that way."

"I think I need a break. I'm going to take a walk."

or even, "That was an unkind thing to say."

can really shift the energy and raise accountability for the one inflicting harm.

Second, allow the other person to feel whatever it is they choose to feel.

All of our relationships are co-created. This means the other person has more than likely grown accustomed to your willingness to adapt to their will. Additionally, this makes it highly likely that they may experience some discomfort as you change your behaviors. And that's ok. Think of it as growing pains.

The truth is, you've been uncomfortable for a while now and it's ok for them to know. Creating change is the only way to find something that us supportive and sustainable for BOTH parties.

Trust the process. It's going to be ok.

If you would like customized support around speaking your truth and creating more sustainable relationships, here are some ways I can help:

​Apply to work with me! I have been there and I am happy to help.

​Connect with me on my other platforms! I am uploading visual reminders daily to support you on your journey.

​Watch or listen to this weeks podcast episode! I dig deeper into many of these issues to offer support and help you to find a life that is more supportive and sustainable for you.

Your voice is one that deserves to be heard. You've got this.

With Love,

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