Hey there, friend.
If you’ve ever felt that deep, anxious tug in your chest at the thought of disappointing someone, you’re not alone. In fact, for so many highly sensitive people and recovering people pleasers, this fear is one of the most powerful forces quietly running the show.
And the hardest part?
Most don’t even realize how much it’s controlling their choices—until they’re exhausted, resentful, and wondering why they feel so disconnected from themselves.
I see this fear show up every single day in my coaching practice. It looks like saying yes when you're bone-tired. It looks like biting your tongue just to keep the peace. It looks like overexplaining your boundaries in an attempt to prove that you’re still kind. It looks like shrinking your needs because someone else might feel uncomfortable.
And underneath it all?
A fear that if you disappoint someone… you might lose them.
You might be misunderstood.
You might be judged.
You might be abandoned.
For many HSPs and people pleasers, being liked once meant being safe. Peace was something you earned through compliance, through helpfulness, through making yourself easy to be around. So of course your nervous system learned, If they’re happy, I’m safe.
But here’s the painful truth most people don’t talk about:
This survival strategy—this fear of letting people down—eventually becomes the very thing that keeps you stuck.
It keeps you saying yes when your whole body is begging you to say no.
It keeps you overfunctioning while others underfunction.
It keeps you smoothing tension you didn’t even create.
It keeps you apologizing for things you didn’t do.
It keeps you carrying emotions that aren’t yours.
It keeps you overexplaining just to soften someone else’s discomfort.
It keeps you silent when your truth deserves a voice.
And slowly… quietly… consistently… it keeps you abandoning yourself, one moment at a time.
Maybe you see yourself in Sarah—the dependable friend who keeps betraying her own need for rest because she doesn’t want to seem selfish.
Maybe you see yourself in Ben—the silent partner who keeps the peace but loses himself in the process.
Maybe you see yourself in Maya—the capable one at work who’s drowning because she doesn’t want to “be difficult.”
Or maybe you see it in your own day-to-day life:
agreeing, apologizing, smoothing, fixing, overthinking, replaying, absorbing, caretaking, and hoping—just hoping—that if no one is disappointed, maybe everything will finally feel okay.
But friend… I want you to know this:
Your fear makes sense.
Your patterns make sense.
Your sensitivity makes sense.
Your desire to keep everyone comfortable makes sense.
And still… it’s costing you.
This week’s podcast episode goes deep into these patterns—why they form, how they show up, and how they quietly shape your relationships, your wellbeing, and your sense of self.
Not in a way that shames you.
Not in a way that rushes you toward solutions.
But in a way that helps you finally see the pattern with clarity and compassion.
If you’ve ever felt the weight of disappointing others hold you back from living a life that actually honors you… this episode will feel like being seen in a way you maybe haven’t felt before.
✨ Come listen to the full episode and explore this fear with me.
You’ll hear real stories, real examples, and real emotional patterns that will help you understand yourself on a much deeper level.
And if you’re ready to take this work further—if you’re tired of abandoning yourself to keep the peace—I’d love to support you. You can simply reply to this email or click the link to book your free clarity call and explore whether coaching might be the next right step for you: https://calendly.com/maryannwalkerlife/freeconsult
You deserve relationships, choices, and rhythms that honor your truth. And that begins the moment you stop abandoning yourself to avoid disappointing others.
With so much compassion,
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"MaryAnn, you and your work are exactly what I was looking for and completely transformed my life. Thank you!" |