The #1 Fear of People Pleaser?
The Fear of Abandonment.

If you’ve ever silenced your needs to avoid rocking the boat, stayed in a relationship that didn’t feel good, or worked overtime to keep someone happy just so they wouldn’t leave, you know this fear well.

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For many, this fear traces back to early experiences—maybe emotional neglect, maybe love that felt conditional on performance, or maybe someone truly important did leave. But regardless of the source, over time, your nervous system learned: If I want to keep people close, I have to keep them happy at all costs.

That’s why so many people pleasers carry this deep, hidden fear: They equate being alone with being rejected.

How It Shows Up (and How It Leads to Self-Abandonment)

The heartbreaking part is this: when we live through a fear of abandonment, we often end up abandoning ourselves.

Here are five common signs you may have a fear of ababdonment. Notice how these behaviors also self abandon:

1. Overgiving. Pouring into others to prove your worth, leading to burnout while also never giving them the chance to invest in you.
2. Conflict avoidance. Silencing your truth so the relationship feels “safe”—while sacrificing authenticity in the process.
3. Taking responsibility for other people’s emotions. Walking on eggshells, over-owning blame, and robbing others of accountability.
4. Staying too long in unhealthy relationships. Hoping red flags will magically turn green instead of believing people when they show you who they are.
5. Downplaying your needs. Minimizing or erasing your own boundaries so you’ll be “easier to love.”

Each of these actions is a form of self-abandonment. And that’s the most painful abandonment of all.

The Cost of Living This Way

When fear drives your relationships, love and connection can’t flourish. Instead, you’re left feeling anxious, burnt out, unseen, and often lonelier than ever.

Too many people pleasers confuse being needed with being loved. They equate proximity with connection. But the truth is, when you abandon yourself for the sake of keeping someone else, you end up feeling invisible—even if they stay.

But What If Connection Didn’t Require Self-Abandonment?

✨ What if you didn’t have to prove your usefulness to experience connection?
✨ What if you didn’t have to choose between your needs and theirs?
✨ What if you could build relationships rooted in authenticity, reciprocity, and genuine care?

You can. And you, my friend, deserve so much more than the bare minimum. And I can help you learn how to shift from fear into love.

Next week, we’ll talk about how to stop self-sabotaging and start building relationships that feel safe, supportive, and real. You won’t want to miss it! But for now, if you want to learn more, come and join me on the podcast where we can dig a little deeper!

Listen now! https://maryannwalker.life/podcast​
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Ready to create lasting change? Reply to this email and let's start working together! You are worthy of so much more. And I can show you how to create it.

With warmth,

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"I feel like these topics are so much more common than people like to admit, and MaryAn is bravely talking about them AND helping people through them. 100% recommend giving this show a listen." @AshanaKailuani